The way we speak matters a lot. If you have been, or currently is, in the self-development or entrepreneurial journey, you know exactly what I’m talking about. The way you speak influences your mind significantly and affects your actions unconsciously.
When you give yourself an excuse and then delay, your mind remembers it and it becomes a habit. When you don’t do what you had promised yourself you would do, you betray yourself. You may not realise it but it hurts your soul, and that’s when you lose confidence. Self-esteem problems start to pop up.
Why go through all that turmoil when you can work on it effectively just by eliminating few phrases from your life. When you don’t say it, you are not going to do it.
“If you quit ONCE it becomes a habit. Never quit.” ― Michael Jordan
There are always some phrases connected to your bad habits, habits that you want to get rid of. Now it’s your job to identify those words and eliminate them altogether, making your life better.
Here are 6 phrases to eliminate from your life entering 2021.
“I don’t know what to do.”
If you live a life where decisions are being made regularly then you know the cost of this phrase. The phrase “I don’t know what to do” directly translates to ‘INACTION’. Inaction is a disease that slowly destroys you and make you resentment and you grow frustrated. Taking actions, even if they turn out to be wrong, makes you satisfied and minimize the chances of you having regrets. So make your choice wisely.
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” – Theodore Roosevelt
“It’s not my fault.”
There are multiple variations of this phrase, another one is “It’s their/his/her fault” etc. The truth is we all have flaws and we need to accept that. Taking full responsibility is one of the best thing you can do entering 2021.
If you put yourself under strict scrutiny, you’ll realise that you too have made some mistakes, it may be 20%, but it will there. You action leads to various results and some results are not always pretty. Instead to saying “it’s not my fault” try asking yourself some questions, like, “why did that happen?” “where can I improve myself?” “How can I make sure that doesn’t happen next time?”. You need to reflect. Now I’m not saying that you’re always going to be at fault, we are humans and we know people, who like to pick up a fight for no reason, exist. All we have to do is learn from our experiences.
“How did that happen?”
This phrase can be used at many places and you might be confused. Your confusion will be gone once you answer this question: how many times have you drove paying zero percent attention? You may have covered 150 km but you don’t even realise when and how you got there. It happens to all of us. Doesn’t it?
Now, it’s good for us in many ways as we as humans have evolved to a great extent. We can perform many tasks without paying attention. We have developed an autopilot and no doubt it’s useful and plays a significant role in our lives.
The problem arises when the autopilot turs itself on without you even knowing about it; when you have almost no control over it. Don’t believe me? Try paying attention to every single thing you encounter during a drive. All the cars, people, trees, the way people are walking around, the way people are driving, what car you see and their colours etc.
No matter how hard you try to keep your attention focused, eventually, you’ll find your mind on autopilot mode again. Isn’t that true? Being mindful is a skill that is imperative in today’s world, and we ought to practice it. Meditation is an awesome way to start. Meditation helps you in many ways and being mindful is one of them. Try meditation for 3 months and prove me wrong.
“He doesn’t understand.”
How many times have you argued with someone just to give up? Meaning, how many times we have encountered people who just wouldn’t listen. If 2+2 is 5 for them, then no matter what facts you bring, what people you consult them with, it just is 5. And we can’t do nothing about it. Now at this point, you’re probably thinking “so, why are you telling us to eliminate this phrase? It’s clearly their fault and they should be one to eliminate this phrase.” If you’re thinking something like that, then you’re clearly a victim of “it’s not my fault” attitude.
Hold on! Before you judge me, let me tell you why I said that. Tell me how many times you have argued with people who just wouldn’t listen and will have their way? They would rather choose a lose-lose situation to feed their ego. So now the question becomes this ‘why do you keep trying?’. It can happen once and we can call it a mistake, BUT, if it happens second time, then, I’m sorry to say but IT’S YOUR FAULT. You’re in full control of the situation, it was you who decided to get into an argument with the person (who just wouldn’t listen) even after knowing that ‘he just wouldn’t listen. You knew that that was going to happen, yet you feel disappointed and frustrated when the reality slaps you in the face.
Rigid mind is the problem here. If you stubbornly get into an argument that you know the result of, then, you are a blind guy with eyes, meaning, you know the results, yet you get into it and decide to disappoint yourself. The best way to get rid of an open mind is to catch it in action. Scrutinize it. Investigate your rigid mind, ask yourself some tough questions. But remember to not beat yourself up.
Best way to cure a rigid mind is listen to the opposition in every aspect of life. Consider their ideas and opinions, even If you don’t agree with them. Slowly but surely you’ll be surprised to know how much damage you would have already done to yourself by being a rigid minded person.
“Reading is boring.”
People say this phrase in different-different ways. Other ways of saying this “books do not teach you about the real life” or “reading books doesn’t matter but experience does” or “books are BS”. Words may be different but the feeling behind them is common, which is, looking for excuses to not to read. If a person thinks even 10% logically, then deep down they know, books work! Amazon is what it is today because of books. Don’t you think there would have been a solid reason to choose books as the first online product to sell? Of course there was. History have been recorded in books. Every beautiful mind is locked inside books, which you can access very easily today, compared to 10-20 years before. Books makes you smart and improve your life in ways you can’t even imagine.
How come average CEO reads 20-50 books a year? Don’t you think their time is valuable? Do you think they would waste that much hours on books if it were a waste of time? Of course the answer is NO!
The best way to get into reading books is to start off with fiction, and then slowly adjust to non-fiction. Fiction will get you hooked in reading and also will help you develop a reading habit and non-fiction will make you invincible. So GO AHEAD and pick up that book!
“I’ll do it tomorrow.”
This phrase need no introduction, we all have used it. This the probably the most common phrase to use when procrastination starts to take over. We all have millions of reason to put things off until tomorrow, but those reasons are rarely objective and true.
We all have caught ourselves hoping for a problem to pop up, so that it becomes an excuse and we can procrastinate. It can be anything, ranging from not getting clothes on time from laundry guy to having a little cold so that we don’t have to attend the party or event that we don’t fell like attending to. We all look for evidences and little reasons and then we extrapolate those reason to make them big enough, so that we can use them.
The solution here is that every time you are about to make an excuse to put anything off, write it down. Every time you write that down you’ll have to be honest with yourself, you may even feel guilty for tricking yourself into believing in something which is not true. Go ahead a try it because it works. Just make sure you don’t procrastinate writing things down.
Once you stop using these phrases mentioned above, you’ll see a drastic change in your life. There’s a reason why pen is mightier than a sword. Words are powerful and it’s your job to use them in your favour and not against.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!