The King Of All Paychecks: Howard Stern Signs The Biggest Employment Contract In The History Of Planet Earth!

For fans who can’t live without Howard Stern’s radio show to start their morning (three days per week or so), you can take a deep breath. He’s coming back for five more years, as he officially signed a five-year contract to keep his show at SiriusXM going until 2025.

If you’re wondering why a 66-year-old who doesn’t like waking up early would subject himself to his alarm clock blaring at 3:30 a.m. well into his 70s, I think we all know the almost 500 million reasons: his stratospheric contract, which some reports say could pay him $120 million a year. “Fifteen years ago, I joined SiriusXM, a fledgling group of broadcasters. I had been in a toxic relationship with terrestrial radio,” Stern said. “And no matter how well I treated the medium, no matter how successful I made them, they abused me. Going to SiriusXM liberated me. I felt like Tina Turner freeing myself from Ike.”

Robin Quivers will stick around for another half-decade with her cohort, and so will Stern’s quirky crew of sidekicks like producer Gary Dell’Abate and JD Harmeyer.

“I would like to thank my incredible crew that I work with every morning, and of course the talented Robin Quivers,” Stern said. “Robin, we make a great team. Like Sonny and Cher, Captain and Tennille, Charles Manson and Squeaky Fromme, we continue our great friendship. I look forward to more laughs and good times. As a proud member of Bachelor Nation I say … Robin, will you accept my rose, and dare I say, should you forgo your individual room, will you join me in the fantasy suite?”

This makes for a happy holiday season for SiriusXM, which will keep their biggest star and most marketable draw for five more years. And the pandemic has allowed Stern to work from a studio in his home in the Hamptons, cutting out the hassle of going to the Sirius headquarters on Avenue of the Stars in New York City.

Stern said, “I’ve been proven right about satellite radio over and over again. With this contract renewal, can’t wait to see what else I’ll be right about. Certainly, I have a lot more to say about Metamucil crackers and stepmom porn. Plus, now that I can work from home, I simply don’t have an excuse to quit.”

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