“I Saw Mommy (Socially Distancing And Virtually) Kissing Santa Claus!” The CDC Comes Out With Ridiculous Holiday Guidelines!

Buddy the Elf would be so disappointed in the bah-humbug Centers of Disease Control.

A carol became a Karen when the CDC released holiday gathering recommendations that suggested for Americans to not sing while inside, even though Buddy taught us, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”

“Encourage guests to avoid singing or shouting, especially indoors,” the CDC guidance instructed. “Keep music levels down so people don’t have to shout or speak loudly to be heard.”

Thanks, Grinch. Great party. What’s next? Don’t allow people to pet the dog either?

Hold my eggnog, said the CDC.

“Treat pets as you would other human family members—do not let pets interact with people outside the household,” the CDC wrote in its list of guidelines to reduce the spread of the coronavirus as the pandemic’s second wave hits the nation.

But at least the CDC is being reasonable, right?

“Hold outdoor rather than indoor gatherings as much as possible” or “increase ventilation by opening windows and doors,” said the CDC, whose home office apparently is located in Phoenix.

Naturally, most of the CDC recommendations made great sense and would go a long way to fighting the worsening pandemic. Those considerations included checking local infection rates, limiting attendees, avoiding direct contact, physical distancing, wearing masks, washing hands, cleaning/disinfecting, using touchless garbage cans, avoiding potlucks and having one server.

So don’t come all ye faithful quite yet and certainly don’t sing it. The carols won’t sound quite right under that mask anyway.

Somehow, the CDC made no recommendations regarding mistletoe, our nation’s most dangerous plant this holiday.

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